Category Archives: Parenting


Personal Development and Parenting – Why a Daughter Needs Her Dad to Develop Self Esteem and Self Worth

Daughters need their dads.  In this article, I will expound on one of the many reasons why.

A 12-Year-Old’s Need for a Boyfriend

I was talking to a 12-year-old middle school girl.  She mentioned that she had a “boyfriend.”  I was shocked.  I asked her, “What do you need a boyfriend for?  How do you plan to use him?”  “I don’t know.  Not for kissing or hugging or anything like that,” she blushed.

“Then for what?” I insisted.

“To protect me” was her answer.

“Don’t you have a family to protect you?” I then asked.

“My dad left, and I haven’t seen him for a month.”

There you have it!  This little girl was looking for a father-figure-protector substitute.

What This 12-Year-Old Didn’t Understand About Boys

This 12-year-old, who watched all of the Disney princess-prince charming movies when she was little, had a fantasy-picture of what teen-boys are like instead of understanding how they are really wired.

My Explanation to Her of How Teen-Boys Think

I went on to explain to her that pubescent boys are “hummingbirds.”  “What do you mean?” she asked with a frown of confusion.  “What do hummingbirds do in a garden?”  “They fly backwards?” was her reply.  “Yes, that’s true, but look a little closer and you will see that their main activity is to go from flower-to-flower, tasting one, then quickly going to another while trying to taste as many varieties of flowers that they can.”

“Ah, when you put it like that, I see what you mean, Mr. Prosper.  Boys are dumb-asses.”

“Right!  You got it.  They are dumb-ass hummingbirds.”

“Thank you, Mr. Prosper.”

“You’re welcome, sweetheart.”

Respectfully,

Charles I. Prosper

Transformational Life Coach

Quote for Today’s Post:

“If it was illegal to hug–nobody would be happy.” — Luzemily Prosper (spoken at 10-years-old) 

P.S.  Let us hear from you.  Leave us your comments and feedback below. Thanks.

Personal Development and Parenting – 7 Tips to Enjoy Your Children More (That’s What They Are There For!)

Parents, how much do you really enjoy and appreciate your children?

I was shopping one day in my neighborhood supermarket, and as I was walking down one of the aisles, I saw this man, in his mid-thirties or so, with three of the most beautiful babies, ages about 3, 4, or 5, that you could ever imagine.

I can only remember one of the little girls, with incredibly bright eyes, long curly black hair, olive brown skin, and a smile you melt your heart. The dad?  Well, to my surprise and confusion, he walked alongside them, solemn-faced, no smile, as though he had been condemned to death.

Notwithstanding that this gentleman may have been having a bad day, my wish is only that this was not a regular daily experience with his kids.

The message of this article is a simple one: Enjoy your children; that’s what they are there for.

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7 Tips to Enjoy Your Children More

I would like to give my 7 tips for enhancing the experience of your kids in order to appreciate them more and to increase the quality of life and love that you have with them.

Tip # 1 – Look at Them When They Sleep

My daughter, Luzemily, just turned 15-years-old on November 3rd, and I still enjoy looking at her as she sleeps.  That beautiful innocence of who she was as a baby still remains.  I can only smile and feel grateful that she is in my life.

Tip # 2 – Listen to Them Laugh

Have you ever truly listened to the beautiful music of the laughter of a loved-one?  Mozart could not stand a chance next to the melody that they produce.

Tip # 3 – Look into Their Sparkling Eyes

All kids’ eyes sparkle.  And the sparkling does not come from the physical organic eye, but rather from a spiritual plane that they are still in touch with.

Tip # 4 – Listen to Their Curious Questions

“Daddy, why is the sky blue?  What are colds for?  Where do babies come from?”  One of the most important events to a child is when they can ask you a question and when you care enough to answer them.  Never be “too busy” to hear and answer their queries.  It builds their sef-esteem.

Tip # 5 – Admire Their Pet Rocks

Children find beauty and value in the most simplest of things.  When they find a “cool stick” on the ground, celebrate their find with them.  “Wow, Baby!  That’s an awesome-looking branch.  Let’s go and show, Mom.”

Tip # 6 – Play with Them When They Ask You

This is big one.  You are on the computer answering “important” emails, you 5-year-old comes up to you and asks, “Daddy, would you play with me?”  What do you do?  Do you say you are too busy to stop, or do you stop, and spend 10-minutes with her.  Give yourself a break, and give your daughter a mini-positive experience with her dad that she will always cherish in her memory.

Tip # 7 – Be There for Them Always

Once a dad – always a dad.  Once a mom – always a mom.  When all turn their backs on them, when all disappoint and let down, there is always one never-ending constant, the love and support of a parent.

All the best,

Charles I. Prosper

Transformational Life Coach

Quote for Today’s Post:

“Daddy.  Hug me.  I’m a ‘hugaholic.” — Luzemily Prosper (spoken at 10-years-old) 

P.S.  Let us hear from you.  Leave us your comments and feedback below. Thanks.

Personal Development and Parenting – 3 Positive Strategies for Raising Unspoiled Kids

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Do you spoil your kids?  I don’t think any parent wants to believe that he or she is spoiling his kid.  Are you spoiling yours? Before I give you my 3 positive strategies for raising unspoiled kids, I think we should first understand what we mean when we say “spoiled.”

Parents who are afraid to say the word “no” to their kids almost always categorically wind up spoiling them. Spoiling creates dependence, unrealistic expectations, and a lack of self-reliance.  The underlying psycho-dynamic which drives the behavior of a spoiled child is a feeling of entitlement.

A belief in entitlement tacitly implants one of the greatest lies in the psyche of children, which is you can always get what you want whenever you want it.  Your job is to teach them the coping skills that will allow them to successfully navigate through the ups and downs of life.

So, aside from appropriately denying a child those things which should be denied, I now present for your consideration the top 3 ways to raising a self-reliant and well-adjusted young person.

The Top 3 Suggestions for Raising an Unspoiled Child

Suggestion # 1 – Teach Them to How to Be Unselfish – Teaching them how to be unselfish means showing them the importance of considering the needs of others when they want something, and, if and whenever necessary, to bravely put the needs of others first.

Suggestion # 2 – Teach By Example the Virtue of Kindness to Others – Teaching them to become givers can become a very powerful family value for future success in life.  The reason it is harder to be a receiver than a giver is because a giver is always in control.

Suggestion # 3 – Teach Your Kids Money-Management Tips –  One of the best things that you can do for them is to give them a weekly allowance, allow them to make their own decisions, but discuss with them the importance and implications of saving, spending, and charitable giving.

Our primary job as parents is to prepare our kids for independence and self-survival in the real world as adults. I believe that by following these three simple rules, you will be well-on your way to raising a happy, successful, and self-reliant child.

Sincerely yours,

Charles I. Prosper

Quote for Today’s Post:

“You cannot lead someone to positive change by doing for them what they should be doing for themselves.” — Anonymous

P.S. Don’t be shy.  Let us hear from you.  Leave your comments and feedback.

Personal Growth and Positive Parenting – The 3 Worst Things to Do During an Argument — And What to Do Instead


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Do you know the 3 things all parents should avoid in an argument with their child?  In this post, I will explain to parents what these 3 big mistakes are – and what to do instead.

The 3 Biggest Things to Avoid During an Argument with Your Child – And What to Do Instead

Biggest Thing to Avoid # 1 – Shouting At Your Kid

Shouting and yelling at your child doesn’t calm anger, it is only guarantees to make the two of you even angrier.  Shouting or yelling becomes a first-reaction because somewhere and at some time, you allowed this to become a habit.

If you did it once, and then did it again, and again, over time, shouting began to feel “normal” and became a habit that you’ve become okay with, well, at lease while you’re doing it.  But I’ll bet that deep down inside that you know something is very wrong with this.

What to Do Instead

Until you can train yourself to understand that shouting and screaming is a childish and immature way to handle frustration, go into the other room, and yell into a pillow if necessary, but not at the other person.

Biggest Thing to Avoid # 2 – Name-Calling the Other Person

Name-calling, when it comes from a parent who you love and respect, becomes a very hurtful and hard-to-forget experience. I once read, “Sticks and stones may break your bones, but words can break your heart.”  This is true. Don’t damage your child’s self-esteem.

What to Do Instead

Remind yourself that your job as a parent is to “raise” a child, not to “lower” a child.

Biggest Thing to Avoid # 3 Hitting Your Child

Never hit your child just because you are  angry.  When you hit your kid, it is not because the kid is out of control, it is because you are out of control.  Somebody is supposed to be the adult here.

Hitting is illegal, immoral, and unproductive.  Your are teaching your child that whenever you’re angry, it’s okay to hit someone before negotiating. You might try to nicely call it “spanking,” in order to make it sound better, but you still have to hit in order to spank.

What to Do Instead

When you feel the anger and the urge to to hit – stop – and breathe. Breathe deeply and slowly, three to five times – and use your brain. Think before you act.  That’s what the brain is for.

If you are hitting your child, it’s probably because your parents hit you, and their parents hit them.  Isn’t it time to stop the trans-generational madness and replace it with patience, kindness, and guidance?

Thank you.

Sincerely,

Charles I. Prosper

Quote of Today’s Post:   “You can’t force anybody to do anything they don’t want to do – well, you can, in physical ways but not in mental ways.” ~ Luzemily Prosper (spoken at 11-years-old)

Parenting and Healthy Relationships – 5 Steps for Improving the Quality of Your Family Life with Your Children

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Do you know the 5 steps for improving the quality of your overall family life with your children?  In this article, you will learn how easy it is to create healthy relationships with your kids by regularly practicing the 5 tips below.

5 Steps to Improve the Quality of Your Family Life with Your Kids

It is often said, and correctly so, that the little things are those which make the big difference in the quality of family life.  Here are 5 painless, fun, and free ways to dramatically improve the quality of life in your parent-child relationships.

Step # 1 – Be Lavish in Your Praise and Admiration of All the Good They Do – It is important to never take for granted the good behavior that our kids display when it happens.  Catch them doing something good, and celebrate it with them.  Go ahead.  Make a big deal of it.  Let them know how you appreciate them.

Step # 2 – Read Your Kids Bedtime Stories – In spite of the allure and noise of all the trendy electronic gadgets and distractions, there is still nothing better than reading stories to your little ones. They love it.

There is something very special about the personal interaction of you reading to them as their wide-eyed excitement follows your every word that paints each scene, which comes to life.

Bedtime story-reading leaves them a lifetime of wonderful memories, long after they have forgotten about the latest game they played on their iPod.

Step # 3 – Become a “Hugaholic” – My daughter, Luzemily, coined this word one day when she was 10-years-old when she said to me, “Daddy. Hug me.  I’m a ‘hugaholic.'”  (And don’t forget the kisses and tummy-tickling.)

Step # 4 – Be Silly with Your Kids – Life is too short to take it so seriously.  Relax.  Have fun with your kids.  Learn to be silly with them.  I think this is called play. The family that plays together, stays together.

Step # 5 – Laugh a Lot – Happiness is a family business which requires a lot of laughing and joking. And whenever you can’t laugh, you can always smile.  Your children soon will become your mirror as they laugh and smile more often as well.

Sincerely yours,

Charles I. Prosper

Quote for Today’s Post:

“If it was illegal to hug–nobody would be happy.” — Luzemily Prosper (spoken at 10-years-old)

All the best,

Charles I. Prosper

(Transformational Life Coach)

P.S.  Let us hear from you.  Leave us your comments and feedback below.  Thanks.