Monthly Archives: October 2013


Personal Development and Self-Growth – How to Overcome Procrastination and Become Disciplined in 3 Easy Steps

Do you ever procrastinate?  You don’t even have to answer that question.  I know you do – everybody does.  The problem is not so much that you procrastinate but what is it that you procrastinate.  If you procrastinate doing unproductive, time-wasting tasks, this is a good thing.  The key to success is not to procrastinate on those things that you know will lead you to where you want to be.

In this article, I will show you how to overcome procrastination and become the “disciplined” person you’ve always wanted to be in 3 easy steps.

How to Overcome Procrastination and Become Disciplined in 3 Easy Steps:

Step 1 – Know that “Discipline” Is a Temporary Experience

The effort of what we call discipline is just a “changing of the guards.”  This effort that we exert to know what we know we must do, i.e., exercise, eat less, study more, spend more time on our business, or whatever, is an effort that you will experience in the beginning of your new routine, but it will gradually subside as you continue each day to make yourself do what you must do.

You must be willing to “suffer,” only at the beginning, and if you stick with it, the “stage of suffering” will weaken and disappear.

Step 2 – Know that “Discipline,” i.e, “Effort” Will Last Only 66 Days

It has been promulgated and believed for a long time in self help circles that it takes 21 days for an old habit to dissipate and for a new habit to begin to gel.  Recent research, according to a study that was reported in the marvelous book, The One Thing, by Gary Keller, (highly recommended reading!) has discovered otherwise.  It was found that it really takes about 66 days for an old negative habit to weaken and for the new positive habit to kick in and take over.

Step 3 – Know that After 66 Days an Automatic New Habit Is Formed

This is the good news.  If you can stick with it and make it consistently to the 66th day mark, a new habit has formed and your body mind takes over to make it and automatic, effortless, and enjoyable habit.  If your new habit is positive, productive, and goal-achieving, then your success is guaranteed.  At this point, you will enjoy your new activity so much that you will feel bad when you miss your exercise routine, when you miss your study time, or when you miss working on your business for an hour.  What was once discipline has been transformed to delight.

Sincerely yours,

Charles I. Prosper

Quote for Today’s Post:

“If you don’t start, it’s certain you won’t arrive.” — Anonymous

P.S.  Let us hear from you.  Leave us your comments and feedback below.  Thanks.

Personal Development and Parenting – 3 Positive Strategies for Raising Unspoiled Kids

HowNotToSpoilKids

Do you spoil your kids?  I don’t think any parent wants to believe that he or she is spoiling his kid.  Are you spoiling yours? Before I give you my 3 positive strategies for raising unspoiled kids, I think we should first understand what we mean when we say “spoiled.”

Parents who are afraid to say the word “no” to their kids almost always categorically wind up spoiling them. Spoiling creates dependence, unrealistic expectations, and a lack of self-reliance.  The underlying psycho-dynamic which drives the behavior of a spoiled child is a feeling of entitlement.

A belief in entitlement tacitly implants one of the greatest lies in the psyche of children, which is you can always get what you want whenever you want it.  Your job is to teach them the coping skills that will allow them to successfully navigate through the ups and downs of life.

So, aside from appropriately denying a child those things which should be denied, I now present for your consideration the top 3 ways to raising a self-reliant and well-adjusted young person.

The Top 3 Suggestions for Raising an Unspoiled Child

Suggestion # 1 – Teach Them to How to Be Unselfish – Teaching them how to be unselfish means showing them the importance of considering the needs of others when they want something, and, if and whenever necessary, to bravely put the needs of others first.

Suggestion # 2 – Teach By Example the Virtue of Kindness to Others – Teaching them to become givers can become a very powerful family value for future success in life.  The reason it is harder to be a receiver than a giver is because a giver is always in control.

Suggestion # 3 – Teach Your Kids Money-Management Tips –  One of the best things that you can do for them is to give them a weekly allowance, allow them to make their own decisions, but discuss with them the importance and implications of saving, spending, and charitable giving.

Our primary job as parents is to prepare our kids for independence and self-survival in the real world as adults. I believe that by following these three simple rules, you will be well-on your way to raising a happy, successful, and self-reliant child.

Sincerely yours,

Charles I. Prosper

Quote for Today’s Post:

“You cannot lead someone to positive change by doing for them what they should be doing for themselves.” — Anonymous

P.S. Don’t be shy.  Let us hear from you.  Leave your comments and feedback.

Personal Growth and Positive Parenting – The 3 Worst Things to Do During an Argument — And What to Do Instead


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Do you know the 3 things all parents should avoid in an argument with their child?  In this post, I will explain to parents what these 3 big mistakes are – and what to do instead.

The 3 Biggest Things to Avoid During an Argument with Your Child – And What to Do Instead

Biggest Thing to Avoid # 1 – Shouting At Your Kid

Shouting and yelling at your child doesn’t calm anger, it is only guarantees to make the two of you even angrier.  Shouting or yelling becomes a first-reaction because somewhere and at some time, you allowed this to become a habit.

If you did it once, and then did it again, and again, over time, shouting began to feel “normal” and became a habit that you’ve become okay with, well, at lease while you’re doing it.  But I’ll bet that deep down inside that you know something is very wrong with this.

What to Do Instead

Until you can train yourself to understand that shouting and screaming is a childish and immature way to handle frustration, go into the other room, and yell into a pillow if necessary, but not at the other person.

Biggest Thing to Avoid # 2 – Name-Calling the Other Person

Name-calling, when it comes from a parent who you love and respect, becomes a very hurtful and hard-to-forget experience. I once read, “Sticks and stones may break your bones, but words can break your heart.”  This is true. Don’t damage your child’s self-esteem.

What to Do Instead

Remind yourself that your job as a parent is to “raise” a child, not to “lower” a child.

Biggest Thing to Avoid # 3 Hitting Your Child

Never hit your child just because you are  angry.  When you hit your kid, it is not because the kid is out of control, it is because you are out of control.  Somebody is supposed to be the adult here.

Hitting is illegal, immoral, and unproductive.  Your are teaching your child that whenever you’re angry, it’s okay to hit someone before negotiating. You might try to nicely call it “spanking,” in order to make it sound better, but you still have to hit in order to spank.

What to Do Instead

When you feel the anger and the urge to to hit – stop – and breathe. Breathe deeply and slowly, three to five times – and use your brain. Think before you act.  That’s what the brain is for.

If you are hitting your child, it’s probably because your parents hit you, and their parents hit them.  Isn’t it time to stop the trans-generational madness and replace it with patience, kindness, and guidance?

Thank you.

Sincerely,

Charles I. Prosper

Quote of Today’s Post:   “You can’t force anybody to do anything they don’t want to do – well, you can, in physical ways but not in mental ways.” ~ Luzemily Prosper (spoken at 11-years-old)

Personal Growth and Relationship Advice – The One Secret to Guaranteed Family Relationship Happiness

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I can give you the one secret which will guarantee relationship happiness with your family forever. Sounds incredible?  Maybe, but the secret is so disarmingly simple.  Realize this secret now, and enjoy its benefits from now on.

If your wife, son, or daughter were diagnosed with a seriously terminal illness, and was given only 6 months to live, how do you think you would you see them?  I think that you would see them as they truly are, as the most important persons on Earth to you. You would overlook all of their little quirks and petty annoyances.

The little things that previously might have irritated you suddenly would seem insignificantly silly. Considering the possibility of not having them, you suddenly you see the big picture.

What is the Big Picture?

The big picture is that minor imperfections are really not that important at all. To change the course of a terminal illness, you would not care how many imperfections that they’d have. Serious illness or impending death is life’s great wake-up call.

The message that comes through, whenever these things happen is a simple one, “Be grateful for what you have and who you have in your life!”

Being Grateful is the Absolute Guaranteed Path to Perfect Relationship Happiness

When your family is with you, do you spend quality-time with them as much as you can? Or do you crowd your days and nights with too much “busy” stuff, answering emails, taking your work home, or making endless calls to clients?

No one ever on their death-bed has ever complained about not having had enough time to spend in the office. Alas, the one great regret that people have with their last breath is a singular one — they all regret not having spent enough time with the people that they love. If they could do it all over again, is the thought, they would have spent more time.

For them, it’s too late.  For you, there’s still time.

Be Grateful for Your Family — And Be Sure to Tell Them So!

Stop and think right now how fortunate you are. I suggest you take at least 5 minutes every day to contemplate and appreciate the miracle of love in your life.

Gratitude is its own reward. Be grateful that you can be the giver and the receiver of love. Don’t sweat the small stuff. Forgive their imperfections, and keep loving them.

Love them, and be with them all you can. One day your children will leave you and start a family of their own.

Loving her means telling them, all of them, how important they are right now and expressing how grateful you are to have them. Don’t just feel it, tell them how you feel. Don’t keep it a secret. Tell each of them exactly how lucky you are for having them in your life.

Sincerely yours,

Charles I. Prosper

Quote for Today’s Post:

“You don’t realize the value of something until you lose it.”  ­­– Charles I. Prosper

Parenting and Healthy Relationships – 5 Steps for Improving the Quality of Your Family Life with Your Children

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Do you know the 5 steps for improving the quality of your overall family life with your children?  In this article, you will learn how easy it is to create healthy relationships with your kids by regularly practicing the 5 tips below.

5 Steps to Improve the Quality of Your Family Life with Your Kids

It is often said, and correctly so, that the little things are those which make the big difference in the quality of family life.  Here are 5 painless, fun, and free ways to dramatically improve the quality of life in your parent-child relationships.

Step # 1 – Be Lavish in Your Praise and Admiration of All the Good They Do – It is important to never take for granted the good behavior that our kids display when it happens.  Catch them doing something good, and celebrate it with them.  Go ahead.  Make a big deal of it.  Let them know how you appreciate them.

Step # 2 – Read Your Kids Bedtime Stories – In spite of the allure and noise of all the trendy electronic gadgets and distractions, there is still nothing better than reading stories to your little ones. They love it.

There is something very special about the personal interaction of you reading to them as their wide-eyed excitement follows your every word that paints each scene, which comes to life.

Bedtime story-reading leaves them a lifetime of wonderful memories, long after they have forgotten about the latest game they played on their iPod.

Step # 3 – Become a “Hugaholic” – My daughter, Luzemily, coined this word one day when she was 10-years-old when she said to me, “Daddy. Hug me.  I’m a ‘hugaholic.'”  (And don’t forget the kisses and tummy-tickling.)

Step # 4 – Be Silly with Your Kids – Life is too short to take it so seriously.  Relax.  Have fun with your kids.  Learn to be silly with them.  I think this is called play. The family that plays together, stays together.

Step # 5 – Laugh a Lot – Happiness is a family business which requires a lot of laughing and joking. And whenever you can’t laugh, you can always smile.  Your children soon will become your mirror as they laugh and smile more often as well.

Sincerely yours,

Charles I. Prosper

Quote for Today’s Post:

“If it was illegal to hug–nobody would be happy.” — Luzemily Prosper (spoken at 10-years-old)

All the best,

Charles I. Prosper

(Transformational Life Coach)

P.S.  Let us hear from you.  Leave us your comments and feedback below.  Thanks.

Personal Development and Stress Relief – The 5 Benefits of Becoming Less Easily Bothered

Father-and-Child-Reading

Can you describe the average person in two words or less? I can.  It is “easily bothered.”  In our day-to-day, hustle-and-bustle lifestyle, most of us, and especially those of us with the challenges of working and raising a family can easily fall into this category.

In this post, I want to give you 7 worthwhile benefits of deciding and making a commitment to become less easily bothered in your work and in your home life.

The first key that you must understand to making this new lifestyle work for you is that it is just as simple as making a decision to start right now.  Becoming easily bothered is a habit; becoming less easily bothered is a habit as well.

The 7 Benefits of Becoming Less Easily Bothered:

Benefit # 1 – Your Level of Stress Will Be Immediately Reduced

Stress is a choice.  Whether you try to do more than can be done, or you refuse to accept what has happened, or you sweat the small stuff by crying over cranberry juice just spilled on your new carpet, it is all a choice which leads to more stress.

By deciding to become less easily bothered, you will reduce the stress and the upset that you would normally experience.

Benefit # 2 – You’ll Find It Easier to Be More Accepting of the People in Your Life

Once you begin to practice this new mindset, you will notice that it will be easier to become patient and make allowances for the mistakes of the people in your life who you love.

Benefit # 3 – You’ll Become a Better Role-Model for Your Family

When the head is calm, so is the rest of the body.  Your new commitment to remain calm sets the tone and the example for the rest of the family.

Benefit # 4 – You’ll Become Less Tired and Irritated

Becoming worried and stressed takes up enormous amounts of energy.  By worrying less and becoming less irritated over the little things, you will have more energy to relax and to enjoy your family.

Benefit # 5 – Life Will Suddenly Become a More Fun and Interesting Experience

Forgiving, remaining calm, and overlooking the shortcomings of others soon becomes an exciting and fascinating new dimension in which to move, to live, and to love.

Sincerely yours,

Charles I. Prosper

Quote for Today’s Post:

“Calm acceptance of what is — is the first step to solving any problem.” — Charles I. Prosper 

P.S.  Let us hear from you.  Leave us your comments and feedback below.  Thanks.

Personal Development and Personal Goals – The 7-Step Formula for Achieving Any Goal

predawn

Do you know the 7-step formula for achieving any goal?  You will when you finish reading this article.

The 7-step formula that I am about to give you is one that I have successfully used for the last 25 years.  I first learned of this formula from the great motivator, Zig Ziglar.  Here I will condense and simplify these steps for you.

The 7-Step Formula for Achieving Any Personal, Business, or Career Goal

Step # 1 – Write Down Your Goal

This first step is especially important for those who are not clear about what they really want to achieve.  If you cannot write or state your goal in one clear and concise statement, then you probably don’t have one.

An example of a goal, which you could write down on an index card to be placed on your mirror or the cover of your notebook where you could see it everyday is “By December 200__, I intend to own and operated a private elementary school, which teaches and emphasizes positive self-image psychology, goal setting, and the principles of believing in oneself.”

Step # 3 – Write Down When You Expect to Obtain the Goal

Once you can understand and set a reasonable time frame for the achievement of your goal, you can fortify yourself with the necessary patience in order to persist until you have reached it.  It you know that it will take 1 year, or 2 years, or 3 years, you are will to do what is necessary during this time period.

Step # 3 – Write Down the Obvious Obstacles that Presently Stand in the Way of Your Goal

If there were not problems or obstacles in the way of any goal, it would be just a matter of claiming it.  Once you discern the obstacles, you can prepare yourself to take the necessary steps to remove them.

Step # 4 – Write Down the Needed People and Organizations who Can Help You

There is always someone who has already done what you have done, or there is an organization dedicated to helping people achieve what you want to achieve.  Uncover and connect with these people and organizations, be it a mentor or coach whom you pay, or a professional association, which you will join.

Step # 5 – Write Down the A Plan of Action

When you write down your initial plan, keep in mind that a plan is flexible and will indeed change and become refined as you change and evolve with new information and strategies.  Sometimes a 3-year plan becomes a 1-year plan after you learn certain things that you were not expecting to learn by experience.

Step # 6 – Write Down What You Need to Learn or Need to Know

If there is a skill or training that you will need, then get it.  If you need to take a course, read a book, or listen to an instructional audio, then do it.

Step # 7 – Write Down Why This Goal Is Important to You

If your “why” is strong enough, the “how” becomes insignificant, that is, whatever you need to do, no matter hard it might be for someone else, you will be committed to do it, no matter what it takes and no matter how long it takes.

Quote of Today’s Post: “Aim at nothing, and you will succeed.” ~ Anonymous

All the best,

Charles I. Prosper

(Transformational Life Coach)

P.S.  Let us hear from you.  Leave us your comments and feedback below.  Thanks.

Relationship Tips and Personal Growth – 5 Things Women Don’t Know About Men – And Need to Know Now (It’s All Here)

Extra-6Fish-182

There are 5 things that most women don’t know about men.  And it is about time that they did.  In this article, I will expose for all who would care to know, the 5 things that most women do not know or understand about men.  Hold on to your seats.

The 5 Things That Most Women Don’t Know About Men — But Should!

Male Thing # 1 – All Men (Yours Included) Look At Beautiful Women — Then They Forget Within Seconds

This is one that appears hard for some women to believe or accept.  All “normal,” healthy hetereo-sexual men will look at, admire,and momentarily have a two-second sexual fantasy about all beautiful and sexy women that they happen to see walking the street.

The part that confuses and beguiles most women is that men will literally forget completely about whomever it is that they saw–within seconds – and this women will most likely never come back into their minds again.

My point is  (and I am talking to the men here) if you are going to look, as you must, at least be a little discreet, i.e., wear dark glasses 🙂  It’s called showing respect for whom you are with.

Male Thing # 2 – Men Have an Enormous Capacity to Have Sex without Love

Before I explain this one, let me make a disclaimer.  I am not promoting promiscuity or in favor of infidelity. However, with that said, men have this “mating” capacity because we are genetically wired throughout eons of evolutionary psychology to reproduce if or whenever the human species might be in danger of continued survival.

The advice here is that it is a good thing to make him wait, long enough for emotional bonding to develop, in order to accompany and make the sexual experience more meaningful.

Male Thing # 3 – Men Will Fantasize or Think about Cheating – But Only Some Will Act It Out

I saw a show on “Oprah” once, where a very attractive woman, acting as a flirt would walk up to married men waiting in the street, strike up a conversation, and offer her phone number.

Most of the men took the phone number, but the conclusion made by this experiment, in my opinion, was flawed and fallacious.  Just because a man takes the phone number is not proof or a guaranteed indication that he is interested and intends to call.  Many men will take the phone number, just to feel that they are still attractive, to only throw the phone number away later.

Male Thing # 4 – When Most Men First Date a Woman, His Foremost Thought Is How Soon You Will Go to Bed with You

Again, this is how men are genetically wired as the male counterpart of the male/female interplay.  He is thinking about it when he is laughing at your corny jokes at dinner.  He is thinking about it when you are walking to the car after the movie.  He is thinking about it right after the two of you get off of the ferris wheel.

But here’s the  good news.  Men have learned to wait.  If the prize is truly great in their eyes, they will wait — to a point — then some will lose interest and move on assuming that you are just “not into him.”

Male Thing # 5 – Men Don’t Want to Shop With You — But Most Will Grin and Bear It

Let’s make something clear.  For women, shopping is a process, an art form, if you wish.  For men, it is a plan, a goal, and a purchase.  So ladies, if you see a tortured look on his face after two hours of shopping, give the poor guy a break.  Ask him to meet you outside of Macy’s, or wherever, at such-a-such time.  He will thank you and love you for it.

Quote of Today’s Post – “Women were placed on Earth for a man to earn his right to go to heaven.” ~ Charles I. Prosper

All the best,

Charles I. Prosper

(Transformational Life Coach)

Personal Growth – 4 Strategies to Relieve Stress and Excessive Worry

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Relieve stress and excessive worry is a challenge for many living the fast-paced, productivity-driven life style that so many people live.  In this article, I will offer you 4 simple and proven strategies that will help you to reduce stress and to over the habit of obsessive thinking of anxiety-producing thoughts.

4 Simple Strategies for Controlling Fear, Stress, and Excessive Worry

Strategy # 1 – Breathe, Breathe Deeply Throughout the Day 

Though this suggestion may appear naively simple, it does have one distinct advantage.  It works!  If you notice your body when you are worried and tense, you are practically holding your breath.

Though from a scientific perspective, one would say that by allowing more oxygen to the brain, you are triggering the chemically relaxing endorphins of the brain.

Experience has taught me, that though this may be so, they appears to be a spiritual component that is integrated when you breathe slowly and deliberately. The entire “body-mind” systems begins to calm down and dissipate the mind-activity of obsessive thinking or worry.

Strategy # 2 – Learn to “Observe Your Thoughts” with Interest 

I have explained countless times to my life-coaching clients that the thought and the “thinker” are not the same.  True, the thinker may produce thought, but he or she is not the thought.

To take a scatological example, the crap and the “crapper” are not one and the same.  The crapper produces the crap, but he or she is not the crap.

When you begin to observe your thoughts as though you were watching a play of energy, not a part of you, you will be surprised that thoughts of worry and anxiety will automatically begin to subside and exert less force.

Strategy # 3 – Talk to Someone Who Will Listen 

It has been said that therapists are very expensive friends.  This is because they are trained and “professional listeners.”  It you are lucky enough to have someone in your life who is a good listener, share with them your worries.  Sometimes just by expressing yourself, without the need for any particular advice, you can become more clear and centered.

Strategy # 4 – Read a Positive Book of Quotes or One of Positive Ideas 

The kind of book that I am talking about here is one that offers you positive ideas in a simple, short and sweet manner.  I can think of two such books. One is one of my favorites, “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff” by Dr. Richard Carlson, and the other is “202 Inspirational Quotes of Charles Prosper.” The second one, you will receive within the first week, as a download, when you subscribe to my list community.

Quote of Today’s Blog Post – “There is no such thing as horrible.  It’s just an opinion.” (Luzemily Prosper – spoken at 11-years-old). 

All the best,

Charles I. Prosper

(Transformational Life Coach)

Personal Development – 3 Things to Avoid and 3 Things to Do with a New Business Idea

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Do you know the 3 things to avoid and the 3 things to do when you have a new business idea?  In this article, you will discover what to do and not to do to guarantee your chances of success.

The 3 Things to Avoid When You Have A New Business Idea

Thing to Avoid #1 – Ask Too Many People for Opinions 

This is one of the biggest mistakes to make when you are first inspired by a new entrepreneurial idea. The problem with asking too many people for opinions is that tacitly you are convincing yourself that you do not yet believe in yourself, and by asking for opinions, you are seeking approval.

Most people will not be qualified enough to tell you what to do.  Others may purposely mislead you either because they are jealous of your insight, or perhaps they would like to act on it before you do.

Thing to Avoid #2 – Immediately Tell All of Your Friends and Relatives 

Immediately telling all of your relatives is akin to asking for an opinion.  The only reason that you tell anyone is that you want to hear “how wonderful” your idea is.  The problem is that some will approve and others will criticize either out of ignorance or indifference.  And nothing is more deflating than disapproval from those we love most.  (And yes, this sometimes include husbands or wives.)

Thing to Avoid #3 – Over-Plan and Over-Analyze 

Thinking too much about something that you should start creates doubt, anxiety, and fear.  You cannot know anything before experiencing.  This is called the “paralysis of analysis.”

The 3 Things to Do When You Have A New Business Idea

Thing to Do #1 – Keep It to Yourself for the Time Being

There is a spiritual principle in remaining silent in the initial stages of your inspiration.  When you talk about it, you talk all of the “spiritual energy” out of your system.  When you are quiet your are able to contain this energy within, which will propel you forward with decision and determination.

Thing to Do #2 – Consult with the Experts, but Don’t Pray to Them

What I mean by this is that you may consult with professionals who know certain aspects of your idea that you need to understand, but always trust your intuition as you listen to them.

Thing to Do #3 – Make an Initial Plan, Then Take Fast and Decisive Action

You of course do need an initial plan, but a plan is not fixed.  It is practically a living and breathing entity, which expands and contracts as you gain more and more experience.

Quote of Today’s Post: “If you are not making at least 50 mistakes a day, you are not trying hard enough.” ~ Anonymous

All the best,

Charles I. Prosper

(Transformational Life Coach)

 

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